7.10.2013

No Human's Alowd

I came across this the other day in a notebook I use for my grocery lists:

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I can't offer an explaination and, strangely enough, girl child, who could only be the author, could not either.  'But,' she says, 'I must of had a pretty good reason.  Humans can be really nasty.'

There are a lot of ways to describe girl child.  She's bookish and introverted and mildly anxious.  She lives mostly inside her head, running scripts and dramas to which she may be reacting to more so than anything that is happening around her.  Often enough, she will narrate her own story out loud as she moves around the house as if she is a character in her own life.  There are very few problems we've had that couldn't be solved with a trip to the coffee shop to read a book.

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I have exactly the child I was, except this one is being raised in a house that encourages reading.  We also tend to celebrate the strange quirks of our children (unless it interferes with bedtime, a.k.a., mom and dad's reading time).

I have a strange girl who lives in a sea of paper made of scribbled notes to herself, unfinished scripts and doodles of literary characters.  If you look under her pillow, you will find a book and about a thousand tiny slips of paper with one or two words written on them to express a feeling she was having at the time.

It breaks my heart how many of them say, 'sad'.  But, considering, her bed is also her time out spot, I would probably be more worried if they said, 'Hahahaha, I'm so Not sorry!' 

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Girl child is starting to notice there is a small rift between herself and many of her friends.  Because she's flexible and a bit of a people pleaser, she falls easily into games that are played by others using tv shows and movies as the basis.  I remember when she came home from school last year, talking about playing Monster High with her friends, about how much fun it was although she had no idea who anyone was.  Then she plunked down in front of the computer to do some research so she was better prepared for the next day. 

That small gap between her and her cohorts, though, worries me a bit.  It's always difficult to be the odd girl out.  To not have a tv or a cell phone.  To not listen to pop radio stations or follow fashion trends.  She's got her head in the clouds, when it's not stuck in a book.  She seems to like it there. 

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I hope she never changes but grows to be even more of herself.  She's an innovator, she's creative, and she's got the wickedest sense of humour.  The first time I saw this (a friend on Facebook posted it with 'WTF did I just watch?!!') I knew it was exactly the sort of the thing that girl child would love.  And she does and has shown it to several friends who all said tween versions of WTF?!!  But we find it very funny and clever.  'Oh Teddy,' says girl child to me when I was having a bad day, 'Is your heart's heart broken?' 

I'd be worried that she is way too much like me except she loves to be in the spotlight and to be outdoors.  I would rather work behind the scenes, inside, while girl child actually wants everyone to look at her.  Well, as long as she's rehearsed sufficiently and knows all of her lines.

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It would be great to be able to find her a community of kindred spirits.  It seems that adventurous bookworms with a dramatic streak are few and far between around here, although there is an archetype that seems to abound in books and movies, with likes of Hermione Granger, Nim and Sarah from Labyrinth.

Perhaps it's because girls like Smootch grow up to write the books and movies.



2 comments:

  1. I love your posts like this. It makes me stop, and while I don't have the same way with words, think of my own girl child in a more in-depth way.

    Thanks for helping me see my own child better.

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  2. I find that the act of writing about my kids with a little bit of emotional distance helps me appreciate them more. Reflection on one's life and loved ones is always a good idea too.

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