4.11.2011

awhile

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It's been awhile since anyone has said to me, "I don't know how you do it all!" 

It's been awhile since I responded very promptly.

It's been awhile since anyone but my husband has called me superwoman.  And he only says it to soften my landing as I tumble out of the air yet again.

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My new mom shine has worn off, along with my idealism. 

I will never not yell. I will never not hurt. I will not always be capable or knowledgeable or calm or interested.

I am not all powerful and I can not protect those I love from pain. I know my children can and will feel grief over and over again.  I am weak sunblock under the glare of life.

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And I just laughed at that last line I wrote.  I remember how dramatic I get when I feel sad and inadequate. 

This too shall pass.

It's been awhile since I laughed at myself.  I take myself far too seriously.  There are billions of people out in the world.  I think it's best if I push the drama away and think about a few of them instead for awhile.

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8 comments:

  1. Your post sounds like my thoughts this past Saturday.... Time for me to go think of all those people as well.

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  2. Being a mom is a tough gig. There is little praise, no raises or promotions or vacations, the rewards can be tough to see. I often feel this very same way. Hope you get refreshed soon!

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  3. "My new mom shine has worn off, along with my idealism."

    That's how I feel too.

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  4. just give yourself 5 minutes to cry..to scream...and then when everything is out, you'll feel better....and you'll be there for the rest of the world....

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  5. "My new mom shine has worn off, along with my idealism."

    I love this! So true for me too.

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  6. So much truth in this post- thanks for keeping it real!

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  7. I love everything about this blog. But especially this post. Thanks for posting.

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  8. I've been feeling sad and inadequate lately, too. But after reading this, I'm not feeling it quite so much because I can take "I must be the only mom who feels this way" off my self-put-down list.
    Thank you.

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