need a lift?
Yesterday, as I stood amid my stacks of dirty dishes and neglected clothes pile, in the middle of a very busy weekend, I got a call asking if we could please show our rental suit to a prospective renter in just a couple of hours. Seeing as the cake for my mom's birthday party was still cooling I couldn't frost it quite yet and I had just drank an entire pot of coffee to counteract the effects of sleep deprivation caused by a late night helping out my roller derby league, the Oil City Derby Girls (who did win the Wild Rose Cup from Calgary's Hellion Rebellion because we are awesome), I figured, what the heck, I can whip this place into show shape quick quick no problemo.
And I did. Somewhere over the next two hours I lost my can-do attitude and feelings of being hard done by surfaced, but when the kids and I scooted out the door so a lovely little family could come in and imagine what it would be like to live in my home, it was ready.
Apparently they liked it because I now have two weeks to find myself a new home. A new home in a not so new town. Another move to coordinate, utilities to shut off, turn on, another phone number, another driver's license address change, credit card companies, the bank, insurance to notify my change of address, and a whole new set of rollergirls to hit and be hit by. Another library card to add to the collection. Everything new and yet the same.
I know I asked for this and, despite what it seems, I believe there is a method to my madness. Good things are coming, but right now all I feel is loss. I love this house I live in, I love this town. Though we will be only a few hours away, with monthly visits back for falafel at the farmer's market and to help take care of my slowly slowing grandparents and their farm, my one true home, I know that I will miss the daily reassurance of living with the familiar and comfortable. My heart beats steadier when I look out at well known fields and the skies of my childhood. Here is where I began and to know that I have not yet come full circle is reassuring but also sad.
But here I am, on the road again, on a vehicle of my own design.