It's true. I'm starting to feel that tragic shift towards winter. At once I'm relieved that the worst heat and storms of the summer are past, but my dread of snow is beginning to make itself known again. Every year this drama plays itself out in September for me. Two months pass between the hottest days and the coldest. And every year I think I should move someplace more temperate. Moderate. Less heat, no snow... that would be the life.
Oh, wait, I did do that. But then I moved back to this land of prairie extremes. Go figure.
My personal lifelong battle is trying to keep a grip on what is happening now. I'm always anticipating or stuck someplace in the past and struggle to pay attention to what is happening at this moment. This day. My thoughts usually begin with
Someday...
If only...
As soon as I...
I do try to resist. I do try to notice that my life goes on whether the To Do list is done or not. That I'll never not be tired or under-caffeinated or over-caffeinated or hungry or cranky or too hot or too cold or too busy or bored or...
I seek contentment with the undone and unintended. I am eternally hopeful I will become enraptured with what is already before me so that it all will stop passing me by so fast.
And other times I say, to hell with it and indulge in some serious voyeuristic lifestyle coveting via other people's blogs.
If you have such leanings also, here are my current favorite beautiful, scrumptious, inspiring writers that have talents and lives to be absolutely, madly envious of and I wished lived next door to me so I could go tap on their windows whenever I needed someone to talk me back to the moment:
Happy post-summer, pre-winter, somewhere between where I want to be and where I'll never go back weekend. I wish us all peace.
What you're describing sounds like the ennui I get this time of year. I thought it would end when I no longer went to school/college, but I still get it. I am pondering what you mentioned about life going on regardless of whether you are ready for it with the perfect balance of caffeine and things being done. Being prepared for life happening is....not happening! Thank you for giving me pondering material!
ReplyDeleteThis time of year is exciting for me. I am so braindead all summer. I just get distracted by all the sparkly water and bright sunshine calling me out to play. Fall wakes me up mentally. I can get projects done and cook and just revel in my "nest". I am already planning our fall sewing projects-"ours" as in I sew and the kids model haha.Pajamas are the first thing-since all that water and sunshine seems to have caused a growth spurt around here.
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