It's been awhile since anyone has said to me, "I don't know how you do it all!"
It's been awhile since I responded very promptly.
It's been awhile since anyone but my husband has called me superwoman. And he only says it to soften my landing as I tumble out of the air yet again.
My new mom shine has worn off, along with my idealism.
I will never not yell. I will never not hurt. I will not always be capable or knowledgeable or calm or interested.
I am not all powerful and I can not protect those I love from pain. I know my children can and will feel grief over and over again. I am weak sunblock under the glare of life.
And I just laughed at that last line I wrote. I remember how dramatic I get when I feel sad and inadequate.
This too shall pass.
It's been awhile since I laughed at myself. I take myself far too seriously. There are billions of people out in the world. I think it's best if I push the drama away and think about a few of them instead for awhile.
Your post sounds like my thoughts this past Saturday.... Time for me to go think of all those people as well.
ReplyDeleteBeing a mom is a tough gig. There is little praise, no raises or promotions or vacations, the rewards can be tough to see. I often feel this very same way. Hope you get refreshed soon!
ReplyDelete"My new mom shine has worn off, along with my idealism."
ReplyDeleteThat's how I feel too.
just give yourself 5 minutes to cry..to scream...and then when everything is out, you'll feel better....and you'll be there for the rest of the world....
ReplyDelete"My new mom shine has worn off, along with my idealism."
ReplyDeleteI love this! So true for me too.
So much truth in this post- thanks for keeping it real!
ReplyDeleteI love everything about this blog. But especially this post. Thanks for posting.
ReplyDeleteI've been feeling sad and inadequate lately, too. But after reading this, I'm not feeling it quite so much because I can take "I must be the only mom who feels this way" off my self-put-down list.
ReplyDeleteThank you.